M

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are riding a train through Scotland.

The engineer looks out the window, sees a black sheep, and exclaims, "Hey! The sheep in Scotland are black!"

The physicist looks out the window and corrects the engineer, "Well, all we know is that some of the sheep are black."

The mathematician looks out the window and corrects the physicist, "Strictly speaking, all we can say is that is that there exists a field in Scotland containing a sheep, at least one side of which is black."

Spoiler:

Pessimist:
The glass is half-empty

Optimist:
The glass is half full

Engineer:
The glass is twice as large as it needs to be

Physicist:
The glass contains 0.5 times its total volume in water

Quantum Physicist:
The glass is mostly empty space

Logician:
GLASS / 2 ~= WATER

Statistician:
This is not a large enough sample size

Chemist:
(SiO₂)
→ 50% (H₂O)
→ 50% O₂

Mathematician:
A field R with object V = πr²h
An object contained within the field with V = (πr²h) / 2

Programmer:
def reality
glass = rand(100)+1
water = 0.5 * glass.to_i
end

reality.new

Philosopher:
What is a glass?

Wachowski Brothers:
There is no spoon.

What about a biologist's stand?

Biologist:
50% of that container is 70% of myself.

damn right there's no spoon

Trevlac wrote:Biologist:
50% of that container is 70% of myself.

That's immensely clever sir.

I thought them all up.

Good show!

What's nine feet tall, smells like pee, and enjoys pain?

A stack of incontinent, masochistic midgets!

oh, i was gonna say me.