ROGUELIKE

http://www.scribd.com/doc/2563799/ROGUELIKE

let's play it! i'll be the referee. everyone takes their turn and rolls the necessary dice per their actions. i'll keep track of the game board and post it in an uncanny rendition of a roguelike, equipment, monsters, and such things that are necessary of a ref. the rest of you will mull around in a randomly generated dungeon until everyone is dead or kills themselves through inactivity. once that happens we'll tally up all the points and the winner will be awarded the title of "MASTER OF THE FA ROGUELIKE" which is more like a reason to be mocked than anything.

I will also be throwing in all the random bullshit I can think of for lulz, maybe it be nonsense, enemies, or nonsense enemies. it may not be in the rules, but by christ, it'll be randomly generated.

So who's in?! name and roll your character so we can get started, you hoopleheads.

Rules: if this game gets underway, you must post every time you login to FA. if you do not post you will be left where you stand for a Grue to eat you, and the other players will go along whilst you snooze. every day you don't post increases the chance of you being eaten by a grue by 10% until you inevitably die or we get sick of your flaky ass and you die anyway.

the other players will be able to grab your shit and defile your corpse any way they want, unless the grue eats everything.

Name: Mobius Reisengard
Occupation: Priest
Race: Human
Mobius Reisengard is DEAD, killed by a Void Elemental.
He made it to level 2 and killed 0 monsters, he died with 31 points total.
Mobius got these achievements: Scientist, Cat Woman, Adept Incompetency, Vegan, Evangelist, and Clumsy.
Level: 2
HP: 0/9
ATK: 9
DEF: 5
SPD: 7
PWR: 8
INT: 8

Miracles

• Holy Crap!
  
• Curse
  
• Confession

Items

• Rusty Dagger
  
• Wicked Cool Halberd
  
• Burlap sack
  
• 2 Rations
  
• blue potion

Loot
15 gems, bejeweled ring

Points: 32

Hunger: 0%

Name: Tinklewrists the Large
Occupation: Warrior
Race: Elf
Twinklewrists the Large is DEAD, killed by an Ent.
He made it to level 2 and killed 1 monsters, he died with 31 points total.
Mobius got these achievements: Bored, Ethiopian, Room-master, Stairclimber, and Slayer.


Level: 2
HP: 18/18
ATK: 3
DEF: 9
SPD: 8
PWR: 6
INT: 7

Spells

Abilities

• 2 Dodge

Items

• Rusty Dagger
  
• Long Sword of Inane Justice

Loot
15 gems

Points: 31

Hunger: 32%

alright! if anyone else wants to join all you have to do is roll a character (use the FA dice rolling system) and i'll add you to the beginning of the dungeon. you can continue from there. while the path will already be laid out, i'll add extra shit for you to get killed by.

Twinklewrists the Large and Mobius start off looking at a huge rusty door on the side of a precarious cliff! you shudder and shit your pants a little thinking about what could be behind it.

PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE.
**WARNING: only the correct key will allow you to continue.**

https://2img.net/h/i605.photobucket.com/albums/tt134/farogue/map.png

O
Let the adventure begin!

twinklewrists pushes the door open with a fairy flick of his hand. it groans open revealing a 90 foot unhewn rock cavern with an errant chest, beyond which is an iron door.

I stroll over to the chest, dagger held in the badass blade backwards pose, a la the Secret Apprentice.

you try to move but realize it's actually Davis's turn, as there are currently two players, logged in, playing actively. otherwise you'd be free to make one turn per login.

EDIT: I make these rules up as I go. WOOOOH! I'M A GHOOOSST

Hurry Davis!
I want to see what's in the chest!!!

Mobius realizes there's a ghost and hopes it doesn't give him a ghost blow job (woo woo).

O chest

Mobius kicks open the treasure chest in a valiant manner, revealing five carefully hidden gems. he loots them and poses triumphantly as the darkness around the pair sighs, defeated.

I walk over to the next door.

"after you, good sir!" I gesture to the door, but do not open it.

twinklewrists lives up to his elfin name by waving the white flag of defeatism! he must've been effected by the darkness's similar tactics.

Reisengard stares at the rooty-tootie-fresh-and-fruity queer elf before scowling and walking up to the iron door.

After contemplating for almost a minute. Mobius mumbles "open sesame..."

O iron_door

I'm stupid.

Mobius pushes open the door with his magical hands, revealing quite a number of things. The first thing being that what lays beyond appears to be some sort of brick-encrusted Y-shaped intersection. The second thing is that there are three open archways, one at the end of each corridor and one on each wall.

the last thing is that he finds himself being teleported to god knows where.

MOBIUS SPRUNG A TELEPORTATION TRAP!

twinklewrist's location:

twinklewrist finds himself alone in a room with a now rather useless looking trap.

mobius' new location:

mobius finds himself in a 60 foot long cavern with a rather locked looking iron door and a mildly startled bat.

So much for my cunning plan..,.
I advance to the used up trap, to see if I can salvage it.

you study the trap and discover that its a completely useless hunk of junk. you pass your "look at useless shit and glean no knowledge" test with flying fucking colors.

Reisengard felt a tiny bit of prairie dogging go on in his pantule regions. Thankfully, he did not shit himself despite being teleported across a dungeon.

Spotting a bat who seemed mildly surprised at his random-tastic appearance, Mobius equipped his open burlap sack, ready to be the best there ever was. To beat all the rest, yeah that's my cause!

K bat :: burlap_sack

Random number (1,6) : 1

Random number (1,6) : 5

Mobius tries to capture the bat in his bag but rolls a 6 and fails. the bat attacks mobius and rolls a 10. mobius is struck for 5 damage!

Okay, I cut my burlap sack into long strips that I tie carefully together to form a long rope. I then attach my knife to the end to create a KNIFE-ROPE.
If that's not possible, I advance through the left archway, my dainty locks flowing like foaming champagne being squeezed out of a schoolgirl's rectum.

you attempt to forge a masterfully constructed whip of despair but quickly come to the realization that you shouldn't have skipped knot tying class at summer camp to smoke magic grass with those saucy elf girls....or were they boys? it's hard to tell.

anyhow, you end up destroying your precious bag and the rations inside of it, as you forgot to take them out. with no regrets, you march on.

the room before you is actually a smooth, brick corridor, exactly the same as the one you just left, but with different coordinates and probably a couple of days to a week younger. it's 50 feet long, a cramped five by five feet tall and wide, it contains a rather happy looking chest and four wooden doors along its sides.

"Okay bat. I'm willing to put you hitting me with all of your autistic flying mammal strength behind us." I engage the bat in a conversation about baseball to appeal to his sense of pride.

convert bat

"And I will name you Cupcake. Cause you're just so sweet...yes you are..." and I pet the bat behind the ears.

Then we move to the end of the corridor and arrive at the rather locked door. "Hmm...it seems to be only rather locked instead of all the way. Rather means somewhat according to old lady Merriam Webster."

I stick my knife in the lock hole and gingerly attempt to unlock the rather locked lock but not jimmy the dagger so much as to break the rusty bastard.

the bat sees the error of his ways, repents his sins, and declares its allegiance to the religion of baseball. the bat is now your familiar.

you jimmy the door and by some fucked up streak of luck you manage to pry it open. however the fuck a knife can move tumble system is far beyond me.