ROGUELIKE

Mobius summons the guts of a tapdancing woolly mammoth riding a polystyrene surf board from Dollar General and charges the void elemental with every drop of pain and rage for killing his comrades--or slaves, whatever. His halberd of might and killingness and attackinglike qualities thrusts towards the vile foe!

attack void_elemental

mobius rolls a 3 and misses the void elemental!

the void elemental rolls a 7 and hits mobius for 24 damage!
mobius dies in a fit of cataclysmic pain!

FUCK

Twinklewrists feels a shiver through the cosmos, as though a noble spirit had fallen in the midst of war...
Pushing the uneasy feeling aside, he proceeds to sip from the orange fountain and stroll through the nearby doorway.

(Sorry Davis. You can always reroll.)

Twinklewrists takes a massive gulp from the orange, sparkling fountain. immediately he is filled with unending dread. He gags and vomits on the floor.

Twinklewrists has been poisoned!

he throws open the iron door, suffering 3 poison damage as he does so. he finds himself in a 50 foot square room, a massive tree-like Ent blocks his way to the nearby archway.

The Ent groans like a toppling oak and lifts a massive bark-covered arm, swinging it at the elf warrior.

the Ent rolls an 11 and deals 19 damage to Twinklewrists!
Twinklewrist's tiny elven body spatters across the ground like a trashbag of vegetable soap!

Twinklewrists drifts into elf heaven, greeted by a gaggle of elf dickgirls, and shrugs as he dons a leather apron and a fireman's helmet.

Twinklewrists is grabbed by the dick by a rather impatient looking Valkyrie! She drags him millions of miles away, through time and space, to VALHALLA. THE LAND OF THE BATTLING HEROES.

He finds himself directly in front of his old comrade Mobius. The adventurers discover the Great Ordin near them, in his massive booming voice he speaks:

"YOU TWO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FOR COMBAT. DON'T ASK ME WHY. YOUR ONLY CHOICE IS TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH TO DECIDE WHO THE GREATEST FAILURE IS."



Twinkewrists rolls a 5, plus his speed score of 8 gives him 13 initiative.
Mobius rolls a 2, plus his speed score of 5 gives him 7 initiative.

Twinklewwrists goes first.

The light around Twinklewrist shimmered as he melded with the shadows using his Invisibility!

plus ten to defense gives twinklewrists 19 defense!

IT SHALL SURELY BE ME. I AM THE GREATEST FAILURE OF ALL TIME

Thought the rock sitting next to Mobius. His beard was the cleanest it had ever been, trimmed and auburn. His hair was like a Greek senator's, and his halberd was summoned from thin air into his hand. With a knowing smile, Mobius Reisengard would battle for the last time-without the help of his converted disciples.

The last time...indeed. He bowed his head and began to chant in a mighty voice.





"On the brink of twilight
by Heaven's holy might
I raise my spear to the sky
to call the power's on high
Take my righteous rage
and my bloodthirst, assuage
When my fingers I snap
I call upon Holy Crap!"

He said the ultimate incantation. It was all over now. Twinklewrists, Ordin, and Mobius himself were all going to be hit like the fist of an angry baseball god.

pray Holy Crap!

ordin takes 36 damage! Ordin dies!
mobius takes 21 damage! Mobius dies!
twinklewrists takes 32 damage! Twinklewrists dies!

the universe collapses on itself and everything is unmade. good job, faggots. you ruined it for everybody. Gameover.

And so dies the warrior, Mobius Reisengard.

Let's do another! Whoever wants to play, roll your characters!

Okley Dokely! Let the wild rumpus start!
Class

Random number (1,6) : 1

Race

Random number (1,6) : 2

Name: Harmonster